…counting the number of people that I’ve known who’ve just chosen to walk out of my life as if they were never part of it.
———-
My life has revolved around the internet for the past 8years or so. I’ve met a lot of great people through this. What started in chatrooms and ICQ , with time, turned to phone calls and occasional meetings.
Why I chose the internet to meet people is a different story altogether(like you don’t know it already!). From strangers to acquaintance and some even became real good friends. They meant the world to me. They were more real to me than the people I met everyday. I was my real self with them. The endless conversations I so cherished then. I’d get through school and classes with only one thing on my mind, my next conversation with my ‘friends’. People from different time-zones, I’d make sure I would be online at odd hours so that I could catch them online.
AB- The poet from Whitehorse. The school drop out. A person who introduced me to different kinds of music, to Iris by Goo Goo Dolls and Porcelain by Moby….songs that are still my favorites. The MUD addict! Our virtual world of glass houses under water, the endless hot chocolate drinks, the beach houses and so much more…..
VK- The mama’s boy who’s mama had passed away a little prior to the first time I spoke to him. The little angel. Drunken phone conversations and the endless Doodling !
AR- The AR Rahman fan! The sane one who had everything figured. Loong conversations. The accident.
Some of the people who have left deep impressions on my life and have chosen to walk out of it. Why, I don’t understand. Actually, I don’t think I want to. They have a life, a life beyond what I knew. I didn’t.
———
School days, the huge group of ‘friends’, endless house parties and the music- competitions, theme days and concerts. Being part of the ‘cool’ crowd meant everything to the ‘uncool’ people. And I belonged to both. One change in school, and everything changes. You come back and it’s a different world. My ‘friends’ had moved on… I hadn’t. To me life in my old school is what it was before I left. Things had changed, changed in ways I couldn’t understand. People had changed. They wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Forceful conversations were all that remained.
People who meant a lot to me, people who I thought were my friends, people that I loved are no more people that are familiar to me.
——–
Have they changed or have I? Is it that easy to throw people out of you life, like they were never part of it? ’cause it is not, for me. People who were important to me then are equally important to me now. Is it that hard to start off from where you left? Shouldn’t one give people and relationships the respect they deserve, even if they are a thing of the past?
Too many questions… I know.
9 comments
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August 16, 2007 at 4:01 am
marj
i can relate to that… some people come into our lives and quickly go, some stay for a little while, leave footprints in our hearts and we are never ever the same again…
August 16, 2007 at 5:12 am
perplexityshe
That is sad.. Yea, I relate too, wonder over just that – have I changed or have them? Difficult, or even impossible, for me too to forget someone who has ment a lot.
/Lola
August 16, 2007 at 5:35 am
little indian
What you describe is a normal process in all our lives.
We all have different dreams, aspirations and ambitions.
Our minds evolves in different ways, different rates.
Also, how we define ‘friends’ is never the same, so
how much we value our ‘friends’ is relative and unequal.
Think of railway tracks closing in at a junction,
two trains going in the same direction will,
come close and run side by side, like friends,
when directions change, they gradually separate
and go their own ways, perhaps never to run together again.
Same with us, some of us wants friendships to last forever,
some considers it was great, as long as it lasted, but time has come to ‘move on’.
You can’t blame anyone, least of all yourself.
Stay true to your conscience, be a good friend to others,
do not expect anything in return.
This year I finally broke off from my best ever friend of more than 20 years.
We were the best-est friends from college days,
it was an amazing friendship.
After post grad he started changing, his priorities became different,
I knew we were drifting apart, till one day I decided he had drifted very far.
It is sad for those who truly value friendship.
Such is life, flowerchild.
You need to limit the number of characters on the comment box to stop me rambling, consider it as a statutary warning…. 🙂
August 17, 2007 at 2:55 am
flowerchild
@ marj and perplexityshe
Thanks for dropping by. Looks like I’m not te only one going through all this!
@little indian
Given a choice I’d increase the number of characters just so that I get looooong comments like these. Thanks for putting in an effort to explain things to me, as always 🙂
August 18, 2007 at 1:43 am
little indian
Only on WordPress,
where else can someone be able to give a lecture without having to pay?
Just making the most of the opportunity. 😉
What did you think of the looooo(zzzzzzzzzz)ng comment?
Seriously, you must be thinking about this issue, how do you look at it now?
August 18, 2007 at 5:19 pm
flowerchild
The fact that you put it the way you did, made it easier to accept. I’m just realising that I’m not the only one going through all this. I was seriously doubting if all this had something to do with me or the kind of person I am ’cause people walking out of my life has become a trend of sorts lately 😛
August 18, 2007 at 6:44 pm
little indian
It could still be you, 😀 so what?
you have to be yourself, live for yourself,
if you have to change yourself for anyone and everyone,
you will not remain the real you, will you?
You may change yourself, your ways and your principles
only when you are sure that is what you should do,
and when you really want to for your own self,
and just not for others.
Sorry, struggling for the right words here,
so just ignore if you think it doesn’t make any sense.
August 19, 2007 at 12:55 am
flowerchild
I had to read that 3 times to figure out what you were saying 😛
Well, yes it could still be me but if it’s because of me all the time I might have to consider changing myself. I’ve never been a fan of changing myself for others but I’ve given in to it at times and now when I think about it I feel thats one of the main reasons people have moved out of my life.
January 26, 2009 at 10:39 pm
The New Year… « Subliminal Chaos
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